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10 Things to Discuss Before Having Kids

Updated: Jan 21, 2022

BTW: It’s not too late to talk about these if you already have kids!


Good parenting doesn’t just happen by magic.  It would be helpful to understand each other’s expectations and thoughts ahead of time.  Of course, you can discuss these topics after having kids too.   During their childhood events will come up that will make you revisit and revise your stance on these issues.  If you don’t explore what’s important to you ahead of time, you run the risk of being blindsided by another’s different ideas, having to make decisions on the fly or finding yourselves at an impasse.  By discussing issues before they come up, you can reach a compromise – or at least be aware of what your partner feels strongly about.

1. Caretaking roles – 50/50? Who will miss work for Dr. visits?

2. Discipline – Handling parental anger

3. Values – What’s important to instill?

4. Money – Allowance, pay for grades? savings

5. Religion

6. Gender Ideas – Will your daughter play sports? Can your son show feelings?

7. Nutrition – Limits? Rewards? Trying new things

8. Safety – How do you keep them safe? Guns, medicine, teach to swim

9. Boundaries with relatives

10. Fighting/Conflict

With each of these topics, discuss how your parents handled them and explore what you want to do the same or differently?


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